We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
