Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
