After last night, I could never be a politician.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
