i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
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