I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
