Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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