I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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