Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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