So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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