Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
