Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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