either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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