Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
porn star boner night. come get it.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
