in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
