Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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