did you get engaged???
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
