Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
