Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
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