I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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