I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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