My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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