I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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