There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
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i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
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I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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