HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Found your dick twin last night
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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