he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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