Christians are straight up FREAKS
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Randomize
