I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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