ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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