it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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