oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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