hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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