Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
