She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
