dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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