how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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