Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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