i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
