people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
