I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
