Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
