So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
