brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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