You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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