i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
