I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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