So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
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dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
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I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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