Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
