Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
