She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
