ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize