What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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