I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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