I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
