The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
