i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
