I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
