I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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