GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
