We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
