Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Green mimosas i think yes
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
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