i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
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If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
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just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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