Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
