So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Someone shattered a urinal.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
All I want is dick and wine.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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