last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
