So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
